The Teams go internet
by IceCrome
Summary: The characters in Naruto find out about the wonderful, horrible power of fandom.
1. Team 7

**Ice: Okay, seriously, sorry for not making any GOOD stories. This one is Naruto…'cause…**

**Shino: Why the crap am I here?**

**Ice: Because your awesomeness pwns all. **

**Shino: Good enough.**

**Ice: Yeah, I don't own Team 7 or anything else.**

**- - - - - - - - - - - - - - **

It was an excruciatingly boring day in Konoha.

Team 7 was pretty much sitting around twiddling their fingers. They had no mission today, which was adding to the pile of crap that their day had been. Naruto was playing with his headband, Sakura was looking at her nails, and Sasuke was cutting his wrists.

I mean…

Sitting on the ground concentrating on the concrete. Yeah. Cough, uncough. Kakashi went somewhere, so they were pretty much going brain-dead.

"Hey guys, I got a computer. Wanna check it out?" Sakura stated completely randomly.

"Sure, whatever." Naruto said, playing with his headband.

"…" Sasuke stated.

- - - - - -

"I found this really cool website called Deviantart. You type pretty much anything in and you get results!" Sakura typed in her own name.

"Wait, wtf is Card Captor Sakura? And why am I nearly naked in these pictures? And-oh my freaking GOD. Am I…kissing sensei!?"  
"Why are you making out with my brother?!" Sasuke yelled-ish.  
"I don't know!" Sakura had a blank expression on her face.

"Okay…why don't we try Naruto…?"

"Hey! I look totally kickass! ---Wait a second…scroll up a little…" He and Sasuke made a face of utter disgust.

"O.M.F.G." Sasuke managed to say.

"WTF SASKUE? YOU WON'T GO OUT WITH ME, BUT YOU'LL MAKE OUT WITH NARUTO? I DON'T KNOW YOU ANYMORE!" Sakura stormed out of the bedroom, while Naruto chased her to console her.

Sasuke's eyes flickered to the computer screen.

"Might as well see how awesome I am…" He saw more SasuNaru pictures.

"I think I might be loosing brain cells looking at this." He continued to scroll down, each fan art getting crappier. Then he saw something that made his eye twitch. And go into his extremely rare 'WTF mates' look.

"I'M SLITTING…MY WRISTS. OH HELLS NAW!" He continued at his own Mental, emotional, and physical health risk to scroll down. Then he was pushed over the edge.

"Itachi…I'm kissing Itachi…Oh dear god…" He punched himself very hard in the face.

"…Okay Naruto, I'm fine…OMFG SASUKE." Sakura ran out of her house. Naruto found a sharp, shiny, destructive object. And then sent a complaint to the staff of DevArt.

And then he would go to a therapist every day for the rest of his life after that.

---------------

Moral: The more time you spend on the internet, the more fan characters will want to kill you and themselves. So be a good artist. Think of the characters.

_The more you know…_

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**Shino: Holy freaking mother of god.  
Ice: Mm yeah. Shut up.**

**Shino: Uh Okay…I think it's time for Elaine to close this up. Right?**

**Ice: Well, R&R, no flames, any man of your choice will make out with you, etc, etc. **

**Shino: You care, don't you?**

**Ice: Bite me, bug boy.**


	2. Team 8

**Ice: Okay…since Shino's off doing stuff, let's just have Hinata. **

**Hinata: Aw…I was stalking Naruto…**

**Ice: Okay cool. Do the disclaimer and I'll use my authoress powers to make Naruto appear.**

**Hinata/girl squeal/ IceCrome doesn't own my team or anything else.**

**Ice: Good Hinata.**

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Another exciting day.

Today was more 'exciting' than yesterday was. Hinata was drifting in and out of her thoughts, Shino was…breathing, and Kiba was petting Akamaru. Kurenai was off somewhere with Asuma. So nothing was going on.

For some reason, Tsunade was unusually lazy in assigning them missions.

Finally, Kiba broke the silence.

"Hey, my mom got me the internet yesterday. You wanna see it?"

"Sure." Hinata said. They walked to Kiba's house. Shino said nothing, but followed.

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"So there's a fan-fiction thing where you can read stuff about games." He clicked on the Manga/Anime link.

"Wait a second, why is Naruto on here?" Shino asked, suspicious.

"I dunno…"

"Hey! Everyone's name is one here! What the hell?!" Kiba looked suspiciously at a story entitled 'Cream Cheese'. And in the summary, it said, 'So much can go on when you're bored. Yaoi, KxK.'

"So then he went over to him and…-oh my god."

"WHAT THE CRAP! WHY DO I LOVE KANKURO?! I BARLEY KNOW THE FREAKIN' GUY!"

"Yeah, I think I see a couple more of those." Shino said, pointing to a NaruSasu link to a story, with a summary with _horribly_ bad spelling.

"Hey, what's 'lemon'? Hinata asked her friends. They shrugged.

"I hope SxK isn't what I think it is." Shino shivered out of a mix of fear and disgust.

"So they went into the bedroom and…" They froze.

"W.T.F." Kiba and Shino said simultaneously. The both ran very far away. Hinata was about to chase them, but remembered a website Sakura told her about. Deviantart, she thought.

'_I wonder if Naruto is on here….' _ She typed in herself.

"What…what…WHY ARE THERE SO MANY PERVERTS?!" She covered her mouth, trying not to cry. Keeping calm, she continued to move down the screen.

"Who is this 'Gaara' person? And what am I doing…-" She fainted. A picture of Naruto kissing her just made her little hormones go insane.

"Shino, I think we should destroy that computer and-holy crap what's Hinata doing on the floor?"

"Look." He pointed to the picture that obviously caused her to faint.

"Oh." They were silent.

"You want to agree to repress everything and anything we've seen here?" Shino said, hands in his pockets.

"I agree. I think I might put oil on my eyes too."

"Yeah. Let's not talk to each other for a couple of weeks." The walked away from each other.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Moral: Fan-fiction basically kills the characters and their brain cells.

_The more you know…_

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**Hinata: Are there really…**

**Ice: Yes.**

**Hinata: And…**

**Ice: Oh yes. Tons.**

**Hinata: Yay…?**

**Shino: OH I DON'T FREAKING LIKE YOU ANYMORE/walks off angrily/**

**Ice: No wait! Aw Frick…Hinata, can you close?**

**Hinata: Please R&R and be nice, no flames! **

**- - - -**

(If those stories are real, it was coincidence)


	3. Team 10

**Ice: My God I love mother Russia!**

**Shino: Are you binge-eating cheese itz and watching X-Play again?**

**Ice: Well, you're half right. **

**Hinata: She plays too many video games. That's why she's been making bad fan-art and stories involving you Shino, and her OC's.**

**Shino" Oh HELL no!**

**Ice: She's hot.**

**Shino: …Fine.   
Hinata: IceCrome doesn't own Team 10 or anything else.**

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Today was oddly exciting.

Team 10 went on multiple missions today, and they were all very tired. So they took a break near a bridge. Ino was thinking in stick-figure thoughts about her and Sasuke, Shikamaru was asleep, and Chouji was thinking about eating. And for some probably specific reason, they were un-supervised.

Asuma was probably dead or something.

In the meantime, they all just took a little rest, until Ino said something.

"Oh yeah, my dad got me the internet yesterday, I thought we could all check it out."   
"Okay, cool. Just wake up Shikamaru." Ino kicked him very hard in a 'sensitive' male area.

"HOLY –bleep- -beep- -beep- -bleep- BALONEY!"

"C'mon deer boy, I got the internet, we're checking it out." Shikamaru experienced two very painful minuets, and got up to join them.

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"…so basically type in anything and you get art. Or something." Ino typed in her name in the URL search bar on Deviantart.

"WHAT THE FUCK?! WHY AM I MAKING OUT…WITH SAKURA? AND WHY AM I NAKED?!"

"What was that Ino?" Her father yelled from the next room.

"Nothing daddy."

"My god you've got him wrapped around your little finger." Shikamaru stated, after his pants un-tightened after seeing those pictures.

"…shut up. I'm going to go wash my face…I feel…_dirty_." She shivered.

"Okay…I'm just gonna type my name in…" Shikamaru widened his eyes at what he saw.

"I'm…disgusted and pleased at the same time." There were multiple pictures of ShikamaryxTemari fans, and a lot of InoxShikamaru fans. And a lot of Yaoi, featuring him with characters he didn't even knew existed. He learned a lot of new…positions.

"I think I'm gonna be sick…" As Shikamaru ran into the bathroom, Chouji, out of curiosity, typed hi own name in.

"Oh. My god." He saw more yaoi, this time, with himself and his dear friend Shikamaru.

"Ugh. This is disgusting." He was sent way too far over the edge with one picture.

"WHY. THE HELL. AM I WEARING. A DRESS?" His eye twitched uncontrollably.

"…are you alright-whoa, Chouji's about to go psycho."

"Shikamaru, I think, we should run. He will destroy my laptop."

"CHOUJI MAD. CHOUJI ANGRY." His powerful fists of doom got very large, and he turned green and muscular.

And for some reason, developed a high pitched, tiny voice.

Like Mike Tyson!

"Wait, what the crap?! Aw whatever, I'll just…sue the people who invented yaoi…" Chouji returned to his normal body and voice.

"Ino, let's never mention this again."

"Mention what again?"

"My god you're good."

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Moral: Even the unpopular characters like Chouji die a little on the inside because of retarded drawings.

_The more you know…_

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**Shino: So you're basically saying, any guy can get soft and/or hard core porn if they make an account on Deviantart?**

**Ice: Sadly, yes.**

**Hinata: That wasn't a good idea to say that…**

**Shino: ……../runs off/**

**Ice: OH MY GOD ARE YOU FREAKING SERIOUS?!/gets the best hold of his jacket.**

**Hinata: Shino, you have to close…**

**Shino: R&R and –struggles- you can get a cookie! Or whatever! No –struggles- Flames!**

**Ice: MY GOD YOU'RE SUCH A GUY! **


	4. Sand Sibs

**Ice: You know what a good movie was?**

**Shino: Do I care?**

**Ice: Spirited Away.**

**Shino: Actually, that was a good movie.**

**Hinata: Are you guys going insane?**

**Ice: Already there, hotshot.**

**Hinata: Touché. **

**Ice: Anyway, I don't own the Sand Sibs. Oh, and the Naruto Abridged thing belongs to Vegeta3986 and MasakoX. **

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What the hell is up with Suna?  
That is basically what Temari, Gaara, and Kankuro thought, as they all pretty much just sat around. Temari was making her fan shinier, Kankuro was repairing his puppet, and Gaara was throwing sand at innocent people.

'_Heh heh…fun…' _ Gaara was a bit…odd. Baki was in a ditch or something somewhere, so Temari was pretty much just looking after them.

"You wanna get on the internet?" Temari asked lazily.

"I heard there was an increase in insane people in Konoha because of that."

"No, no there wasn't. Shut up. Anyway, I'm getting on." Temari got up to sign in. Kankuro shrugged, and reluctantly followed. Gaara was tired of hurting people, so he went.

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"...so that's where you can get more drawings about…sand…and puppets."

"Just type in your name or something." Temari typed in her name in the URL bar.

"I am so totally badass. Wait a second…"

"OH MY F//KING GOD TEMARI!" Kankuro covered his brother's eyes.

"What? What happened?"

"WHAT IS _WITH_ THESE RETARDS?! I'M NOT A LESBIAN, AND WHY THE _**HELL**_ AM I NAKED?!" Temari stormed off to find the perverts.

"Oh…" Kankuro took his hand off of Gaara's eyes.

"Yeah…I'm typing my name in."

_Meanwhile…_

"Eeh! That's what Kankuro's hair looks like underneath that?!"

_Back at Suna…_

"For some reason, I feel like I want to punch Kiba…Anyway." Kankuro typed in his name.

"Oh. My freaking. God."

"OH MY GOD KANKURO/snort/ THAT IS JUST SO RETARDEDLY FUNNY!"

"I DO NOT HAVE INTIMATE RELATIONS WITH MY F//KING PUPPET! GOD!" Kankuro stormed off to go destroy some things. After Gaara contained himself, he remembered a website someone told him about. You tube, or something. He typed in _Naruto the Abridged Series _by learning that from Matsuri, (A/N: Matsuri is his student) he found the thing, and clicked on a random episode, episode eleven.

He laughed as they made fun of Pre-Timeskip Sakura.

"Wait, what the crap? Is that me?!" He shrugged; the guy who voiced him actually matched him nicely…

"I'm Temari, I'm Vegeta3986's girlfriend!"

'_Vegeta, what are you doing?!'_

'_Shut up and go along with it, man!'_

'_No, give me the mic!' _

'_-Insert microphone fighting over sounds-'_

'_God, you're acting like a kid… now where were we?'_

"Sorry Naruto, but I'm going out with MasakoX." A girl he somehow knew as Hinata said.

'_WHAT THE F//K!? YOU GODDAMN HIPOCRYITE!'_

'_-Insert microphone fighting over sounds-'_

'_Now where were we…oh yeah.'_

"I'm Temari, Vegeta3986's girlfriend. He's awesome."

"And I'm Gaara. Of the funk."

'_um cha, um cha, um cha, um cha'_

'_GAARA OF THE FUNK!'_

He laughed very hard. Even though it was incredibly retarded, it was still funny.

"Now to type my name in back at that Deviantart website…"

"WHAT THE F//K?! _WHY_ AM I NAKED…WITH ROCK LEE? HELL, WHY AM I NAKED _**PERIOD**_?!" His spirits dampened. He was now going to kill something.

"Or maybe watch more Naruto Abridged. Yeah, that'll do."

Gaara watched more.

"The funk wasn't with you. DIE. Funk Coffin!" Naruto A. Gaara said after beating someone in DDR.

'_um cha, um cha, um cha, OH!'_

'_Ooh yeah!' _

"You wanna try?"

"Sorry, but we only play beatmania."

"…You guys are so f//king dead."

"…Lol."

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Moral: Sometimes, girls get pissed off at being drawn naked. And guys don't fornicate with puppets. And Gaara doesn't love Lee. Didn't you see that one episode where they nearly killed the other one? Or did you miss that? OH SNAP YOU JUST GOT PWND.

_The more you know…_

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**Hinata: Who's MasakoX?**

**Ice: He's this dude. **

**Shino: …WTF.**

**Hinata: You watch N.A. too much.**

**Ice: Yeah well, you stalk Naruto too much.**

**Hinata: ………..**

**Ice: Yeah well, R&R and no flames.**

**Shino: Heh, heh, heh, moo. **


	5. Team Gai

**Ice: Naruto was sexually assaulted. **

**Hinata: Seriously?**

**Shino: Yeah, Kakashi stuck his fingers in his ass.**

**Hinata: Eww…**

**Ice: And strangely, Naruto did it to Ebisu like…thirty episodes later.**

**Hinata: …**

**Shino: …Our show is f//ked up.**

**Ice: I don't own Team Gai, Naruto Abridged belongs to MasakoX and Vegeta3986, and Shino, I seriously concur.**

**1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-9**

My God, was Tsunade stoned or something?

Team Gai was recently told not to get on a website called Deviantart, because Sasuke, Kiba, Ino, and Sakura were all incapacitated in an insane asylum. The rest of the teams were pretty much paranoid.

But, Team Gai was just trying to keep their sanity from the boredom they faced.

TenTen was braiding Neji's hair, Neji was _letting _TenTen braid his hair, and Lee was staring out at the river, since they were sitting on a bridge. TenTen stood up after she was satisfied with her braiding, and started walking back to where she lived.

"Where are you going?"

"Back home, on the computer."

"But I thought like, five people are on pills or something because of that?"

"Why would I care?" Neji shrugged, and followed her.

"Hey…wait up!" Lee ran to them.

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"…you see Neji, we won't go insane!"

"Alright, alright. Whatever…" TenTen typed in Lee's name first, because he asked her to.

"Hey isn't that that one kid you nearly killed?" Neji bust out laughing.

"OH MY GOD LEE, YOU REALLY SUCKED IT UP THIS TIME! OH MY /gasp for air/ -bleep-ING GOD!"

"SHUT IT, NEJI!"

"…um…guys…I think I found some pedophilia crap…" TenTen pointed to the screen nervously.

"Lee…what are you doing with sensei…?"

"MY EYES ARE BLEEDING, OH MY _GOD _MY EYES ARE _**BLEEDING**_!!!" Lee ran out, clutching his eyes. Neji and TenTen looked at each other.

"That was the most disturbing thing I think I will ever see." Neji shivered uncontrollably.

"Neji…I think you're next…"

"I can handle it. Don't worry."

'_My god I hope I'm not fornicating with Gai…ewwwww…' _

"Okay, so there's not a lot of yaoi here…"

"What the hell is that?" Neji cocked his head.

"I have no idea myself."

"Well, whatever…" She made a face.

"Neji, you might want to look away…"

"What…what is it?"

"…seriously, look away."

"Tell me!" TenTen sighed, and moved her head away.

"…Am I…_kissing_…my own _cousin…_?"

"Sadly, yes."

"I'm gagging and vomiting at the same time…I'm gavomiting. OH DEAR LORD!" He ran into her bathroom.

TenTen, doing the _smart_ thing and not typing her name in, went on youtube, and for some reason, typed in Naruto's name in. There were like, billions of results.

"Wait, wtf is Naruto Abridged?" She clicked on an episode.

'_Hey Naruto, you wanna play a game?'_

'_How come you assume I have nothing better to do than play with a bunch of eight-year-olds?'_

''_Cause you don't.' _

'…'

'…'

'…'

'…'

'_Fine, what game?'_

'_THE ONE WHERE YOU DIE.'_

TenTen nearly choked on the water she was drinking it was so funny. She clicked on another random episode.

'_Nine-tails I choose you!'_

'_Oh dear god what is that?!'_

'_Ever since 4kids got their hands on Pokemon, it hasn't been the same. They've had to put steroids in the Pokemon!'_

She skipped ahead a little bit.

'_Is that ninja wearing an orange jumpsuit?'_

'_Wasn't he the only one not to pass the academy?'_

'_I don't like the way he's looking at my Granddaughter!'_

'_Generic random insult!'_

'_Hahahaha.' _

She clicked on another episode.

'_Okay, now it's time for the second part of the Chunin exams.'_

'_Dude! This so totally calls for the one foot tall brick wall!'_

'_Hey Naru-.'_

'_NO! You de-evolve RIGHT NOW!'_

'_But…'_

'_Get…the hell…back in the wall!'_

TenTen stared at the computer screen.

"…Lol."

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Moral: Naruto Abridged pwns all. And Lee isn't having intercourse with Gai. Neji doesn't love Hinata. My God you fans are sick.

_The more you know…_

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**Shino: I liked that 'Generic Random Insult' line.**

**Ice: So did I.**

**Hinata: You ended it the other chapter the same way you did this one.**

**Ice: And you assume I care?**

**Hinata: I should stop trying.**

**Shino: Yeah, she's already gone. The only things she gives a crap about is her family, videogames, Scrubs, X-play…and me…strangely…**

**Ice: Yeah, well…R&R and pretty please don't flame me!**


	6. Sasuke vs The log

**Ice: Wow, thanks for the good reviews, guys: )**

**Shino: Seriously, this story was kind-of randomly spawned, and It's gotten a lot of good reviews.**

**Hinata: So to show her appreciation, IceCrome will hold a special chapter!**

**Ice: It's not exactly internet-related, but for all you Naruto Abridged junkies out there, it's gonna be a Sasuke vs. The log chapter! **

**Shino: So enjoy!**

**Hinata: IceCrome does not own any Naruto characters. Vegeta3986 and MasakoX own Naruto Abridged. Final Fantasy is owned by Tetsuya Nomura.**

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"Okay Sasuke, try to stay off of the internet for a while." His nurse wheeled him out of the insane asylum. He was…what's a good word…'emo-er.' than usual. He silently walked away.

"…time to go get on the computer." He walked off.

"Oh for the love of god…" The nurse smacked her head.

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"What did TenTen call it…Naruto the Abridged series…? Whatever, that sounds right." He typed that into the toolbar while chewing on some he had.

'_UGGGG! Who's that ugly mo-fo?' _

'_Ph, that's Kakashi.' _

'_Ewwwww! No wonder he keeps a mask on.' _

'_For some reason, I feel like I wanna punch Iruka.' _ Sasuke OOC-ly snorted because, well, damn, it was funny.

"Wait, what the crap?! Is that me?" He sipped on his water, and shrugged. He shut down the website, needing to go catch up on some of his training with Kakashi.

_At some random place…_

"Now to sneak up on Sasuke…" Naruto said, while he hummed to mission impossible theme. He jumped through the window.

"Ow, the pain. That's not supposed to bend that way." Sasuke said, lethargically. Eventually, 'Sasuke who is obviously Naruto' came out.

Sasuke looked at the tied up Naruto, who 'poofed' into a log.

'_LOG'D!'_

"Oh yeah, I didn't tie up Naruto…I tied up a log…I always get those two confused!" He said. And then clone Naruto tied him up. Then he was freed. Somehow…who really cares?

_At training…_

"Oh come on, Sasuke! Number one rule; never _ever _be caught off-guard." But then, a Shadow clone of Sasuke attacked him with multiple shuriken.

"Well, this is ironic." Kakashi 'poofed' into a log.

'_LOG'D!' _

'_Dammit, why do I keep mistaking logs for people…?' _ Eventually, this angered Sasuke, and focused all of his attention to the log, instead of Kakashi.

"Alright you stupid log! Now to beat you!" Sasuke cast the sharingan, and went into a 'Final Fantasy' type battle.

Sasuke had 2/10 HP and 0/10 MP.

While the log had 999/999 HP, and 999/999 MP.

"Oh come on."

Log cast Bahumet!

"Oh…fu-ah!" He died in his sharingan game. His eye twitched.

"Super awesome fireball attack!-no justu." He blew flames at the log, who, somehow managed to roll away by a steady breeze.

"OH. MY FREAKING. GOD!" He 'poofed' up some rope, and tied the log to another log.

'_LOG'D!'_

"HA! WHO'S LOG'D NOW?!" As Sasuke continued to bask in his ultimate victory, a weirded out Kakashi stood by.

"Why the hell did I get the emotional baggage group?!" He seriously needed his porn right now.

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Moral: The log will eventually become Hogake, known then as, 'LOGKAGE.'\

You will bow beneath it.

_The more you know…_

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**Ice: Well, that was the epic battle…or something.**

**Hinata: Holy. Freaking. God. **

**Ice: So, I mean, it WAS a good chapter in my opinion, I mean, -starts to talk endlessly-**

**Shino: Shut. The hell up. You fuzz bag.**

**Ice: WHO HAS THE POWER?**

**Shino: …/bows down/**

**Ice: Good, anyway, Hinata, you close.**

**Hinata: R&R and pretty please don't flame us!**


	7. Haku & Zabuza

**Ice: Lol.**

**Shino: What?**

**Hinata: She's just thinking of N.A. abridged again.**

**Ice: ………It's funny.**

**Shino: So is your face.**

**Hinata: Did you just diss her? Holy crap you're stupid.**

**Shino: Aw **_**crap.**_

**Ice: …/puts bug repellent on his face/**

**Shino: OH MY GOD THAT BURNS! SON OF A –bleep- -beep- -beep- -bleep- BALONEY!**

**Ice: Yeah, I don't own Haku or Zabuza. The Zabuza mumble thing, again, belongs to MasakoX and Vegeta3986.**

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Good. Freaking. God.

Could this be even more boring?

Zabuza sat on his couch, reading _'Evil Weekly' _magazine, while plotting in his head. Haku, meanwhile, was reading _'Ice Fancy'_. _(A/N: Rip-Off of 'Cat Fancy') _learning about the different types of ways you could make dolphin ice sculptures.

Yeah, it was probably the most retarded thing he's ever read.

Eventually, he got really bored. So bored, he decided to get on the internet Gato had given them, for some probably specific reason. But they didn't really care. It was something to keep them busy, so what the hell?

"Mmh mm hmm hgm." _(Translation: What are you doing?) _ Since Zabuza had all that crap on his mouth, he could only mumble. Haku, understood this.

"I'm getting on the computer. Why?"

"Mhh fgh mhmmh, grhmhh." _(Translation: I thought half of Konoha suffered severe trauma from that.) _

"I didn't hear anything about it." He shrugged, and continued to get on to his Deviantart account.

"Mmh grunnh fhumhh." _(Translation: What the hell? You have an account on there?) _

"I thought it'd be nice…" Zabuza reluctantly went over to his protégé, throwing his _'Evil Weekly' _magazine on the chair.

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"Zabuza, I don't think we could suffer from that. That sounds…well…retarded. People being sent into an asylum because of this," he pointed to the computer, "is just stupid."

"Muhmmm phmm fhmmu." _(Translation: Well, that does sound really stupid. And those Konoha people are pussies.) _

"Oh god. Um…I have to go vomit up some blood." Haku ran into the bathroom, and Zabuza could hear his hurls, and shuddered at each one. Wanting to know _why _he threw up blood, but not wanting to at the same time, he hesitated looking at the minimized picture. Eventually gathering up his courage, he clicked on the picture.

"WHUT DU HELL?!" _(Translation: I say governor, WHAT THE BLODDY HELL?! –In an English accent-) _

You see, Zabuza was a very, very emotionless man. He almost _never _was shocked and/or surprised by a lot of things. But this was just…wrong in so many different ways it wasn't even funny.

In the picture, Haku was um…'having 'intimate' moments' with Zabuza.

'_If by intimate you mean, incredibly, INCREDIBLY pedophiliac. Eww…' _ After Haku vomited up his own amount of blood in his body, he was immediately questioned by his superior.

"MMMHUHM UHMM HMMUHMM?!" _(Translation: WHAT THE F//K HAKU?! DID YOU DRAW THIS?!) _Although they both had to admit that the person, who drew it, was damn talented, it was just…incredibly sick.

"What?! No! I can't draw that good and you know that!" Sadly, yes, he knew. He had seen his best work. It sucked. He had the penmanship of a first grader.

"Let's not speak to each other for a couple of months." Haku went into a fetal position in the corner.

"Hmmohmh." _(Translation: I think that's a good idea.)_

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Moral: Nice job, fangirls. Now Haku's scarred for life. And Zabuza is less evil.

_The more you know…_

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**Ice: …**

**Hinata: …**

**Shino: …**

**Ice: …let's just close.**

**Hinata: Oh my god good idea.**

**Shino: Your reviews help us forget about HakuxZabuza. PLEASE REVIEW. Flames only make us remember. /shudders/.**


	8. The Akatsuki

**Ice: …**

**Shino: OH GOD.**

**Hinata: Hm?**

**Shino: She's PMSing. **

**Hinata: OH DAMMIT.**

**Ice: …**

**Shino: Aw…f//k.**

**Hinata: Well, anyway, IceCrome doesn't own the Akatsuki, or the New Yorker, or Deviantart, or Scrabble. This is pre-five members die, but Orochimaru is defected.**

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Well, damn.

Everyone in the Akatsuki was entertaining themselves after their multiple missions today. They had taken out the incredibly retardedly named 'One tailed turd' as in 'Turtle-Bird'. Tobi couldn't stop giggling, which annoyed Deidara to no end. As the rest of the members, Itachi was reading the newspaper; Kisame was serving as Itachi's footstool, Zetsu, Tobi, and Kakuzu were playing catch with Hidan's head, Hidan was yelling profanity at them, Deidara and Sasori were arguing about which art was better, and Deidara was, needless to say, winning.

AL was reading _'The New Yorker'_, and un-named member sat in a corner, because he/she isn't special. It was _freaking _hot outside, so they couldn't get in their pool, because AL saw a couple of rabbits die walking on the cement. Setting down _The New Yorker_, AL stood up and said something.

"I'm getting on the computer. Join me if you want to see stuff or whatever." He didn't really care. He was simply going to look up '101 Villainous ways to capture young children and extract their animals from inside'. Shrugging, they all got up and joined him.

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"Hey, I thought some people in Konoha committed suicide by jumping off bridges because of the internet?"

"Kisame, do you honestly think WE-the Akatsuki- are going to jump off bridges because of," Itachi ushered to the computer, "that?"

"No master." As Kisame and Itachi were talking, AL got onto a website that he would _really _regret getting on.

"THE HELL?!" He pointed at a picture, showing that he was the Fourth Hokage. They all looked snidely at it, except awesome Tobi, who was listening to _Overkill _by _Colin Hay. _

"I AM NOT THAT PANSY-ASS. I'LL SHOW YOU ALL WHO I REALLY AM!" He stepped out of the shadows and…

-_**CENSORED-**_

"Well, I'll never do _that_ again." He stomped off angrily, going to read some more. Itachi got on, while Kisame threatened anyone who interfered with his 'master'. Tobi and Deidara were arguing over why Kisame was such an Itachi kiss-ass.

"It's because they…" Kisame readied his sword at Deidara's neck.

"Say it and I swear to fucking god I will put this through your aorta."

"But I need that for living!"

"EXACTLY."

"It's because they…play…scrabble…all the time." He lowered his sword.

"Good, don't ev-." He was interrupted by Itachi vomiting up his spleen.

_Konoha…_

Sasuke was smiling brightly.

"What's up with you?" Naruto asked.

"I feel that Itachi is suffering right now."

_Back at Akatsuki hideout…_

"Master! What's wrong, master?" He shakily pointed to the screen of him having a tensome with Naruto, Sasuke, Sakura, Sai, Kisame, Deidara, Zetsu, Ino, (Whoever the hell that was) his _dad_, and the freakin' nine-tails. Kisame also threw up at him and Itachi humping like rabbits. They both ran into separate bathrooms, and threw up their spleens.

"Euuuh! That's nasty." Deidara and Sasori simultaneously said. Flipping some of his/her hair out of his/her eyes, Deidara proceeded to type in his name. Immediately horrified at what he/she saw.

"Deidara-senpai, what are we doing?" Tobi asked.

"I believe that's called anal-sex." Sasori laughed at them.

"OH MY FUCKING GOD DEI! THAT IS NASTY!" He continued to laugh at their misery, eventually, Dei attacked him. Tobi clung to Zetsu.

"I'm scared…"

"It's okay…who's a good boy?"

"I'm a good boy!" Tobi ran off outside after receiving a cookie from Zetsu. Tobi, then realized, that was a retarded decision, and ran back inside. He whined about his cookie being all mushed an fried.

Zetsu called over Un-named character, Kakuzu, and Hidan's head over to the computer.

"Boys and unknown, we have just found the source of getting Konoha under our control." They smiled deviously.

"Awesome."

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Moral: …I have no comment.

_The more you know…?_

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**Ice: Honestly, I scare myself sometimes…**

**Shino: Yay, you're not emo anymore!**

**Hinata/backs away very, very slowly/**

**Ice/unleashes her fiery wrath for him calling her emo/**

**Shino: OH GOD! OH MY FUCKING GOD AUGH! **

**Hinata/nervous smile/ Please R&R people, if you don't, Shino will probably die.**


	9. Orochi & Kabuto

**Ice: OMFG**

**Shino, Hinata: What?**

**Ice: I'm introducing my friend!**

**Shino: Again?**

**Ice: Yes again, dammit! Now shut up as I re-introduce Kaity! **

**Shino/Hinata: …Yeah hi.**

**Kaity: I have powers, too!**

**Shino/Hinata: Hi there:D **

**Ice: Kaity, you learn the wonderful power of Disclaimer!**

**Kaity: Elaine doesn't own Orochimaru or Anything else. **

**Ice: Awesome.**

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Um…

Orochimaru?

"Whaaat?"

You and Kabuto kinda need to get on with the chapter. So get out of the closet.

"Oh dammit." He came out with an Elvis Presley outfit on.

"We were going to an Elvis cosplay place…"

Suuuuure…

"What? That's it!" Kabuto insisted.

Whatever.

"I fracking hate you." Orochimaru hissed.

"Yeah, what he said." Kabuto agreed.

Look, shut the hell up and get on with the damn chapter.

"Nyeeehhh…fine." Orochimaru went to his computer, with Kabuto following shortly behind.

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"So since this freaking authoress is _forcing_-."

Orochimaru….

"-asking me to do this, I guess I will…" He grunted as he typed in his name on the computer.

"…" His eyes were wide. And Kabuto was…well intrigued. But just as well disgusted.

"Um…"

"KABUTO, WHAT THE HELL?! DID YOU DRAW THIS?!"

"NO, GOD NO!"

"But…who did…?" Orochimaru thought.

"KARIN!!" She walked into his quarters.

"Whaaaaat?" She asked, annoyed.

"Did you draw this?" She looked over at the computer, and giggled.

"Nice, Kabuto. Isn't that the blowjob or something?"

"Shut up!"

"Well?"

"Nah, I can't draw." Walking away, she yelled back,

"But that's call 'yaoi' by the way. And people who draw it are called 'fangirls'!" They both looked at each other.

"What's that?"

"More importantly, how does Karin know what that is?" Kabuto shuddered.

"…………..OH MY FUCKING GOD!" They both ran into Karin's room.

"KARIN! KARIN GET YOUR ASS OUT HERE!" Orochimaru yelled.

"YOU DID DRAW THAT YOU SNEAKY BASTARD!" Kabuto yelled. Orochimaru eventually punched in the door, seeing that she held a pencil and paper in her hand.

"I swear to god if you take one punch at me I will continue to draw more yaoi. Choice is yours, snakey."

_2 hours of negotiating later…_

"Well, I see your point, Karin. We _could_ use this to our advantage." Orochimaru went out and started to plot. He was going to need a lot of yaoi fangirls.

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Moral: Yaoi helps villains destroy Naruto, Sasuke, etc souls. Think of the damn characters.  
Oh yeah, and tigers pwn.

_The more you know…_

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**Ice: -Punched by Orochimaru-**

**Shino: Lol.**

**Kaity: Stfu.**

**Hinata: You're friend is…violent…**

**Ice: But that's why she's my friend!**

**Shino: …I have no comment.**

**Hinata: Well, R&R please! **

**Ice: No flames!**

**Orochimaru: -punches IceCrome again- **

**Ice: Oh, Kinda running out of idea's here guys. Give me some, please?**


	10. Jiraya & Tsunade

**Shino: Where the hell have you been?**

**Ice: Nashville.**

**Kaity: She went to see her brother.**

**Hinata: You don't have wi-fi or anything?**

**Ice: ...Hinata. I don't have a laptop. Hell, I don't even have a frikin' DS. **

**Kaity: Wow…you're like…the only freaking person I know who doesn't have one…**

**Ice: Shut up. Shino, make haste with the announcement.**

**Shino: Oh, right, that. Yeah, if you have this story on Alert, can you review so she can get ideas? She's running out. So, yeah.**

**Ice: I don't own Jiraya or Tsunade, or Ritalin.**

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TSUNADE!

"Nyeah…wh- - -at?!"

Get off your drunken ass and ON TO THE FRIKIN' CHAPTER!

"I have a feeling you like me."

I don't hate you; you're just…kinda annoying. Go find Jiraya; he's probably peeping or something again.

"Can't you just 'poof' him here?"

…c'mon…

"I'm tired. Can't you just do that?"

………………..fine…

MAGICAL AUTHORESS POWERS ACTIVATE!

'Poof'

"What the hell?" Jiraya looked around.

Yeah, she told me to.

"We have to get on with the chapter." Tsunade bowed her head, mumbling incoherently.

"I have to get promised something." Jiraya folded his arms, and tapped his foot.

I'll turn you into a frog if you don't.

"Okay moving on!"

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"Wanna get on the internet?"

"Sure." Jiraya shrugged nonchalantly.

"Sakura told me about this art website. It's…nice." She smiled nervously, hoping it wasn't _that _website. Since so many people were incapacitated, if they uttered its name, they would run off screaming like pansies.

Let us use Naruto as an example.

Hey Naruto…

"Yeah?"

_Deviantart…_

"OH GOD NO! AHHHHHHH!!!!"

Back to the plot…

"'Ey Tsunade! Type in your name!" Jiraya said. Hesitantly, she did. And she did not like what she saw.

"WHAT THE _HELL_?! –Loud swearing here-."

"Oh…oh my…" Before Mr. Retard could finish, he was on the floor with a massive nosebleed.

"NO! YOU GET UP RIGHT NOW YOU-long bleep-TAXADERMIST!" Tsunade was lazy, and didn't feel like using her super awesome ninja skillz-

That's right, a Z.

-So she used a stun gun/laser instead. And pointed it at his nuts.

"…what's that burning noi-OH GOD! OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD!" He tried running away, but failed. She got him with the stun part. After some five bottles of Ritalin Shizune shoved down their throats, they were ready to check back up on it again. Jiraya typed in 'porn' on the internet.

And dude. He got like, 70 billion results.

No really.

Really.

"Awesome." He smiled like a child at Christmas. Tsunade was sleeping; after all, sake and fudging Ritalin don't go together. He began clicking.

_5 hours later…_

"/Groan/ Jiraya…where are you?" Tsunade rubbed her head after the long nap. She nearly tripped on something, after she noticed that something being a person. Jiraya was on the floor, nearly dead from the massive nosebleed. Tsunade sighed irate, and began the process of healing.

And then she was going to kick his ass.

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Moral: There's tons and tons and tons of porn on the internet.

_The more you know…_

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**Ice: ZACHBRAFFZACHBRAFFZACHBRAFFZACHBRAFF ZACHBRAFFZACHBRAFFZACHBRAFFZACHBRAFF ZACHBRAFFZACHBRAFFZACHBRAFFZACHBRAFF ZACHBRAFFZACHBRAFFZACHBRAFFZACHBRAFFOHMYF//KINGGODZACHBRAFF! **

**Hinata: Uh…**

**Shino: Care to explain?**

**Kaity: She likes Zach Braff.**

**Hinata: Who…**

**Kaity: Scrubs.**

**Shino: Ah…I like that show.**

**Hinata: Me too…Anyway…I think I close…please R&R to make her shut up and give her character ideas! No flames!**

**Shino/hits her over the head/ **


	11. T3h Jonin

**Ice: …/gazes off in a brain dead manner and drools/**

**Shino: Is she thinking about me again?**

**Hinata: I don't know.**

**Kaity: I do…**

**Both: What?**

**Kaity: Kittens. Sweet, sweet kittens.**

**Ice: awwwwwwww….they're so cuuuuuttteee! **

**Shino: ………………………/hits her over the head again/**

**Hinata: Yeeeaaahhh…Shino, your turn. **

**Shino: She doesn't own the Jonins, or any other product placement she puts in here.**

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Blah, blah, blah, funny opening KAKASHI STOP READING YOUR FUCKING PORN AND GET ON WITH THE CHAPTER!

"But I wanna see what happens after the cliffhanger…!" He Cartman-like whined.

**I DON'T GIVE A RAT'S ASS! GET WITH IRUKA, ASUMA, GAI, ANKO, AND KURENAI AND **_**START THE DAMN CHAPTER**_

"Are you PMSing again?"

…Maybe.

"Go hug your Shino doll."

I don't have one; I doubt they sell them. Really, I don't.

"…oh…well…I should get on with the chapter…"

Yeah, but I have to stall for like, ten more sentences before I do, or else it'll seem shorter.

"Really? That kinda sucks for the fans."

Well, what are ya gonna do?

"Get on with the chapter."

…Touché.

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"Hey Kakashi! Did you know the author likes us as a pairing?!" Anko said ADD-like.

"Awesome." He said, reading his filthy, filthy porn.

"I was the one who puked in your car after the Christmas party."

"Whu-?"

"Nothin'!" She smiled innocently. And then, since this is really getting annoying, Iruka, Kurenai, Asuma, Gai came out of absolutely nowhere.

"Hey, wanna get on the internet?" Asuma said, not really giving a crap.

"Whatever." Kakashi followed them, bumping into various objects from not looking up from his book.

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"I want to see if what young Lee told me is correct! That he and I have been shown having sexual relations!" They all gave sick looks.

"Euhh…" Iruka was the first to say. That…was sick. Very, very sick.

"Yeaaaah, anyway, look it up." Anko said. She just wanted to type her name in. As they conversed throughout, they almost didn't hear the large –thump- on the floor.

"The hell was that?" They looked down at a passed out form of Might Gai. Kakashi laughed.

"Heh, let's draw stuff on his face." But soon, his eye grew large.

"Oh my fucking god." There was a picture of him and Lee...um…okay screw this. Lee was giving a man twice his age a fucking blowjob. There.

"Dude." Asuma said. That…that was just nasty. Kakashi just threw up then and there.

"I ain't cleaning that up." Asuma said.

"…" Anko typed in her name. She was…kinda pleased…and kinda not.

"I'm in all these cool poses…but…my boobs…they're…" Kurenai's face also turned green.

"ASUMA AND I ARE CANON FOR THE LOVE OF GOD! WHY THE _**HELL **_AM I MAKING OUT WITH ANKO?!" She stormed off. Anko joined Kakashi in throwing up her breakfast. The guys…were pleased. They were on the floor dying happily.

_Three hours later…_

"Iruka, type your name in."

"Hell no!"

"I'll give you five dollars…"

"…okay." Iruka took the five dollars from the newly rejuvenated Kakashi. He immediately passed out.

"What the crap?" Kakashi looked at the picture of him and Iruka naked hugging. He was going to kill something.

_BUY A WII…_

Anyway,

"Awesome killing yaoi fangirls or whatever attack!-no jutsu." Every Yaoi fangirl in an eighty mile radius was killed. Kakashi passed out somehow. Only Asuma was left, and he did the smart thing and walked away.

He had to get Ino from the insane asylum, anyway.

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Moral: God doesn't love these characters.

_The more you know…_

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**Ice: Kittens…**

**Shino: OH WILL YOU SHUT UP!**

**Ice: Fine/squishes his favorite bug, Herbert, then traps him in a giant clear see-through ball/**

**Shino: NO! YOU EVIL BITCH!**

**Ice: eh…**

**Kaity: Hey, everyone up for doughnuts?**

**Hinata: Sweet, sweet doughnuts.**

**Shino: Hey, guys? What about me?**

**Ice: …/ignores/ anyway, R&R and give me character ideas! No flames!**


	12. Kin, Dosu, And Zaku

**Ice: Hey Shino?**

**Shino: Yeah?**

**Ice: Who was that guy who fought in the Chunin exams? Not Kankuro, but that other guy.**

**Shino: Uh…**

**Hinata: I think it was Zaku or something.**

**Kaity: Or like…Leon…or something. Who cares?**

**Ice: Well, it's the sound three Genin. Kin, Dosu, and Zaku. **

**Kaity: Why?**

**Ice: Because I feel like it! **

**All: …**

**Ice: Kaity, just go.**

**Kaity: IceCrome doesn't own the abovementioned characters. **

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Dear God.

Kin, could you do me a favor?

"What's that?"  
WAKE UP FUCKING ZAKU AND DOSU!

"But Zaku's gonna kill me if I do."

…Kin, you pansy.

"Oh hells naw! You did NOT just call me a pansy!"

Well, wake them up!

"Ugh, fine."

"ZAKU, DOSU, GET YOUR-long bleep-IN HERE!" They groggily went to Kin.

"Wh-aaaat?!" Zaku whined.

"The authoress wants us to get on with the chapter."

DO IT, DAMMIT!

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"Didn't Orochimaru tell us to research Konoha's weak spots in their defense?" Zaku said, as Kin happily typed away on the computer.

"That's what the internet is for! Take out the 97 percent of porn, and you've got so…much…" She stopped talking.

"Kin? You okay?" Dosu tried to touch her, but she just threw a bunch of needles at him.

"Ow! You bitch! What was that?!" Zaku nervously pointed at the computer screen.

"Oh…that was that guy who gave you that concussion, right?"

"Yes." She said slowly.

"And you're…doing him doggy style?"

"Yes." She disappeared in a puff of smoke.

"_AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" _

Zaku and Dosu covered their ears.

"OH MY GOD! How loud can she _scream_?!" They needed to talk to Orochimaru about this.

_Somewhere…_

"KARIN! GET YOUR ASS BACK HERE! GIVE ME THAT PAPER! NO, DON'T YOU DARE DRAW THAT POSITION!"

"UP YOURS, SNAKEY!"

_Back to them…_

"Okay…maybe not a good idea…" Zaku typed in his name onto the computer.

"Uh…Zaku…that guy who totally killed who in the exams…he's…totally…"

"HAVING SEX WITH ME?! I'M BANGING KIN!"

"What was that Zaku?" Dosu looked at him strangley, for he was only 13.

"Nothing, honey!" He turned his attention back to the computer screen.

"Whoever drew this picture, is going to get a handful of smite. GAH!" He stormed away, rolling up his sleeves.

"I guess I'm the only one left…" Dosu looked at the computer screen. And then the hammer.

Computer.

Smashy.

Hard Core porn.

Kill the yaoi.

Naked Kin.

Smash your anger away.

He went with smashy. He knew yaoi was more abundant than Yuri.

"That's. For. Making. Zaku. Go. Insane!" He wiped his hands, satisfied.

"I wonder where I can get my porn now…" Dosu pondered this, and then snapped his fingers.

"HEY KIN! WANNA MAKE TWENTY BUCKS?!" He ran off to find Kin.

_Somewhere…_

"Karin…give me the picture!"

"Hell no! I'm selling this for fun and profit!"

"Who are you going to sell this too?" She looked at him.

"Oh…yeah…heh, heh."

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Moral: Hammers Smash!

_The more you know…_

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**Shino: Is there really a picture of me having sex with that guy?**

**Ice: No, but there is a Zaku and Shino pairing picture.**

**Shino: Oh dear god. **

**Kaity: Yeah, you really got screwed not having a crush or being cannon with some chick.**

**Hinata: Isn't it hinted that he likes me in the series?****  
**

**Shino: Not really. I mean, sure I think you're pretty kickass, but I don't like you that way.**

**Hinata: Good, cause this author like NaruHina. **

**Ice: Well, I also like NaruSaku. **

**Hinata: Oh HELL NO! -/Chases her with Byuakugan on full circle/-**

**Ice: Oh shit. SHINO CLOSE!**

**Shino: IceCrome wants you to review. Do so, and she'll pay us. Don't and she'll kill Sasuke.**


	13. Karin and CO

**Ice: Oh damn it…**

**Shino: Hey! Stop forgetting characters!**

**Hinata: Yeah, Karin's gonna…track you…down…yeah…how'd you like that?!**

**Kaity: Karin has no importance. She's pretty useless…**

**Karin: Shut up!**

**Ice: YOU ARE NOT A PART OF THIS! GO NOW!**

**Shino: …**

**Hinata: You need to take off that huge-ass jacket Shino. **

**Ice: I didn't like you that much in part I. I watched the dub, and your voice was creepy…**

**Shino: Hey!**

**Ice: Shut up and get on with the disclaimer.**

**Shino:-mumbles- She doesn't own Karin, Jugo, or Suigetsu… **

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Karin, stop chasing Orochi.

"But he's gonna kill me if I don't."

You have to get on with the chapter; I want the fans to be HAPPY.

"You're nicer than you lead on…"

Shut up, no I'm not. Anyway, I'll poof Orochimaru to Canada so you can get the chapter on. Okay?

"Fine."

'Whatever I do to make Orochimaru go poof powers activate'

Okay, go with Suigetsu and Jugo. Now.

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"Karin, didn't Orochimaru ban you from that website?" Jugo said.

"Yes, but he's in Canada." He looked at her.

"Don't ask. Anyway!" She typed in her name, but eventually dropped her smile.

"What…what…?" Suigetsu looked at the picture, his pants tightening.

Jugo: _NOSEBLEED'D!_

She was mud-wrestling with some pink haired girl.

And yet, she had to wonder if that was her natural hair color.

"…I am going to kill something." Suigetsu pointed to the nose-bleeding Jugo.

"Good enough."

"Karin? You look pi-. Oh god! OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD AUGH!!!" Karin new fifteen more ways to hurt someone than the average person.

"Okay…I guess…I'll just type my name in." He stiffly sat down. And the first thing he saw was, you guessed it:

Cookies.

No, it was filthy, filthy, gay porn.

With him.

And Sasuke.

"EUGH!!!" He threw the laptop down on the floor.

"'Ey," a beaten up Jugo said, "I was gonna type my name in!"

"Don't worry, you ain't popular."

"Wait, you typed my name in?! Why?!" Suigetsu sucked in his lips, and ran.

He ran very fast, and very far.

And by 'very fast and far' I mean slowly and shortly because of that huge sword on his back.

So Jugo and Karin beat him up.

And then they went out for popcorn and movies.

Yaaaaaay!

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Moral: WHY DO GUYS WITH HUGE FRICKIN' SWORDS ON THEIR BACKS RUN SO FAST?!

_The more you know…I guess…_

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**Ice: Ah…I'm bored.**

**Shino: Is Jugo really unpopular?**

**Ice: His is less than Chouji.**

**Hinata: Oh my god.**

**Kaity: Dude, Chouji has so little fans it's not funny. How could someone get LESS than that?**

**Ice: You tell me.**

**Kaity: Anyway, R&R please!**

**Hinata: Blah blah, blah-didity-blah no flames. **


	14. ZE END

**Ice: Okay, I lied. This is the last chapter.**

**All: WTFH?!**

**Ice: I know, I know, (By the way that stands for what the fudging hell.)**

**Shino: You can't do that! You just can't! I'm your favorite character! **

**Ice: I know…/pets him/…but I need to do this! Oh yeah, and I have to work on ways of killing James.**

**Kaity: What'd he do this time?**

**Ice: He plays games when I try to IM him. **

**Hinata: But Icey! Why?!**

**Ice: I'm sorry Hinata, but he must be destroyed.**

**Kaity: Who should we have do the disclaimer?**

**Ice: SasuNaru fangirls.**

**SasuNaru FG: IceCrome doesn't own any of the characters! SASUNARU FOREVER!**

**Ice: …/looks over at the number count/-holy mother of god! That's gotta be a new world record! **

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Konoha was silent.

People just drifted in between each other.

Like ghosts…or something…like that…

You could hear a fucking pen drop in Suna.

Anyway, back on the actual plotline, if any. Everyone was as nervous as Hinata around Naruto, and as quiet as Shino. Until someone broke the silence.

"TIME TO GET THESE MUTHAFUCKIN' SNAKES OFF THIS MOTHAFUNKIN' PLANE!"

"Dude! You're in the wrong place," Kiba shouted, "and that movie is old!"

"MOTHAFUCKIN-!"

"Oh my god will you shut up!" Gaara said. What was Gaara doing in Konoha? Buying doughnuts.

"So…anyone up for Nacho's and Spider-Man?" Neji said.

"HELL YES!" The rest of Konoha shouted back, which caused him to go about twenty miles back.

"I'm okay!" A muffled Neji voice could be heard.

"WHO'S UP FOR AN ENTIRE MARATHON OF INVADER ZIM AND POPCORN INSTEAD OF RETARDED SPIDER-MAN?!" Hinata OOC-ly shouted.

"HELL YES!" Hinata was blown to the nearest house, which was two feet away from her.

"ONTO MY HOUSE THEN!"

"YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" Hinata led them to her clan's place.

- - - - - - - - - -

"Hinata…What the hell are these people doing here?"

"WE'RE ABANDONING OUR MEMORIES AND BINGE EATING TACOS WHILE WATCHING INVADER ZIM!"

"…Okay you do that then."

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Moral: I like quesadillas. If you want me to add you to my favorite authors, BRING ME A REAL QUESADILLA!

_The more you know…_

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**Ice: I feel bad for ending it like this…**

**Shino: YOU SHOULD.**

**Ice: Shut up.**

**Shino: Alright….**

**Hinata: You like SasuHina too? GOD! **

**Ice: So…? **

**Kaity: Well, you make her seem like a whore…and Shino too…**

**Ice: You assume I have a heart…?**

**Hinata: Oh yeah…we forgot about the 'not giving a rat's ass' part.**

**Shino: Any damn way, please review and she might add an extra chapter, with your favorite characters in it!**

**Ice: No I won't…**

**Hinata: Yes. You will. **

**Kaity: Thanks for the reviews ya'll! It's been nice! **

**SasuNaru FG: SASUNARU FOREVER!**

**Ice: Uh…no…anyway, thanks everybody! I hope you liked this story!**


	15. BONUS: The teams go CONSOLE

**Ice: …**

**Kaity: Hey! We're not in a white abyss! What happened?**

**Shino: You're continuing the story? **

**Ice: Hell no! I'm making a bonus chapter for funsies.**

**Hinata: You've stopped watching Attack of the Show to do this for your fans?  
Ice: No…it's on commercial…and cause I feel like it.**

**Shino: You really care, don't you?**

**Ice: Oh, shut up and one of you do the disclaimer.**

**Kaity: IceCrome doesn't own any characters, or any other product placement, or videogames, or the song.**

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It was two months.

Konoha and Suna and Ota…ot…the sound place was now cured completely from the internet fiasco. They were now allowed on, just not on that one website. About a week ago, the Akatsuki had tried using it against them, but, Konoha just showed them multiple yaoi pictures and they all pretty much died. Except Tobi and Deidara. Because they're awesome. But, Orochimaru was still chasing Karin.

"THIS JOKE IS SO OVERUSED! KARIN! GIVE ME BACK THE YAOI AND THIS JOKE CAN _END_!"

"Hell no! CHASE ME, BUT YOU'LL NEVER CATCH ME! BWAHAHA!"

So he wasn't a threat.

Actually, Tsunade bribed Karin.

Whatever, Team Seven was back to their normal routine of Tsunade being a lazy ass.

Let's just skip to the important part.

Kakashi, Naruto, a very emo Sasuke, and Sakura were all gathered around the ol' Windows Vista. On YouTube. A far superior site than Deviantart. Kakashi, wanting the computer to himself, threw Sasuke out of the room, into the room three doors over.

"Hey, what the crap Kakashi?!" Sasuke yelled. Sakura ran out to find Sasuke, and Naruto went out to get Sakura. Kakashi then locked the door.

"Heheh…tards…" He typed in _South Park_.

"Naruto South Park Dub? What the hell?" He found that it was Naruto, Sakura, etc lip syncing some song.

_Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeell_

_Kyle's Mom's a bitch,  
she's a big fat bitch,  
she's the biggest bitch in the whole wide world,  
she's a stupid bitch,  
if there ever was a bitch,  
she's a bitch to all the boys and girls._

Monday she's a bitch,  
on Tuesday she's a bitch,  
on Wednesday to Saturday, she's a bitch,  


_When on Sunday, just to be different,  
she's a super, king, kameha-meha biatch!_

Have you ever met my friend Kyle's mom,  
she's the biggest bitch in the whole wide world,  
she's a mean old bitch,  
and she has stupid hair, she's a bitch,  
bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch

Bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch,  
bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch,  
she's a stupid bitch,   
Kyle's mom's a bitch and she's  
such a dirty bitch!

Kyle's mom, is a bitch-cha!

"…"

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Team Eight was bored.

"That was the understatement of the year…"

Shut up Shino. Anyway, skipping ahead AGAIN, they went on something called a Wii.

"But my dad's birthday is today an-."

WII. SHINO, STOP TALKING. NOW. Kurenai, could you please take them to your house.

"Alright. Come young ones. After I drop you off, I'm going to leave you unsupervised while I go off working the streets-I mean, shopping! Yes. That is it." They all looked at each other.

"Yeeeeeeaaah…what are we doing exactly?" Kiba asked. Since they somehow didn't have a mission today, they weren't wearing their pWnz0Rz ninja clothes, which means Shino wasn't wearing that big-ass jacket. And yes, I died a little on the inside from saying pwnz0rz.

"You're playing Nintendo! But first, I have to get Shino drunk so he'll have fun for once."

"Wait, what?" Too late. Sake was poured down his throat.

_From a keg_.

After the keg was empty, he brokenly walked with them to Kurenai's house. Afterward, she gave them controllers, and walked off to do that thing.

"Okay…what's the game in this thing?" Kiba asked.

"Wii Sports…" They shrugged. Shino was too drunk to do anything, so they played the game.

"You wanna play bowling? Sounds better than anything else."

"Sure." Eventually, they were hooked on.

"WHOO-HOO! ANOTHER STRIKE!" Kiba danced around. After they got tired of it, (which took about three hours) Hinata noticed something on the screen.

"Mii?" Kiba clicked on it.

----------------------

Shino woke up an hour later with a massive headache, and Kiba making the ugliest thing known to man.

"Oh my god…"

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I'm skipping Team Ten. Let's pretend they died of AIDS, and Chouji of obesity.

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"LEE! MY YOUTHFUL STUDENT OF YOUTH AND I LIKE POTATOES MADE OF YOUTH!"

"Oh my god will you shut up!" TenTen said to her almost mentally insane teacher.

"TenTen! That is no way to talk to Gai-Sen…" She gave Lee and angry look and sighed, annoyed. Gai left after Neji went on a rant about destiny, so they were succumbing to boredom once more.

"Look, I'M going to go home and play Virtua Fighter Five on my PS3. You can just sit here and watch trees for all I care." Neji and Lee shrugged at each other, following TenTen.

------------------------------

"So how do we use these, exactly?" Neji asked. He was the only one, since the Hyuuga household is bathed in blandness. Lee was familiar because he uses it to improve hand-eye coordination.

BECAUSE CATCHING A BALL SUCKS. _(A/N: Catching a ball also improves it, but who the hell does that anymore?) _

"Neji, all you do is hold the controller like this," She showed him, "and the press buttons. Basically."

"Oooh...I get it…" He followed TenTen, and chose a character. TenTen chose Eileen, and Lee chose this really buff dude. Afterwards, Tenten ended up winning.

Eighteen times.

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"WOOOOOOOOOOO!" Gaara OOC-ly shouted after destroying Kanky in Gears of War.

"Hey Gaara! That's not cool!" Kankuro folded his arms childishly.

"Ha-ha sucks to be you." Gaara continued mocking his older brother, until a loud shot was heard.

"Temari! Why'd you kill me?!" Gaara whined.

"Because, now I can do this all on my own!"

"Thanks Tema-." She shot Kankuro's character five more times.

"STOP! HE'S DOWN TEMARI! HE'S DOWN!"

"Awesome."

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Moral: I wish I had an X-box…then I could play Halo…

_The more you f//king know…_

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**Ice: I want a quesadilla…**

**Shino: Still?**

**Ice: I haven't had one since a few years ago!  
Kaity: Damn.**

**Hinata: What about Taco Bell?**

**Ice: They suck.**

**Shino: Ice's birthday is in 29 days! Review, or else you'll NEVER see my eyes!**

**Hinata: Or Tenten's back-story.**

**Shino: Right, and Tenten's back-story. But mostly my eyes.**

**Ice: Self-absorbed jerk.**

**Kaity: He just says what you tell him to say.**

**Shino: Pie, ewgrjhsbjkbnwoe4h322984yhjsnhdjabiwrqbjewqrbwelkjbsjdkbffeiwrubklsfboruwertaxadermy. **

**Ice: Oh yeah…anyway, it's been fun you guys! I love you all who reviewed, favorite, and alerted this story!**

**All: Bye! **


End file.
